HPfreak

You are just a shade of my desires I can never fully figure it out. And I'll never measure up, to my ideals of what could be. Could I borrow your eyes for a while? To see what you see. There seems no diagnosis for the disconnect discontent Between my heart and mind. I long to hear, just once again. "Hey kid, you're gonna be fine." The sweetest lie ever told that ceases as we grow old. I want to believe but I am just a shade too. So easily replaced.

Oh doctor, won't you diagnose me? Captive me, isolate me, it's the latest trend these days. My mind's hazy from the alcohol or maybe it's the lights. Mute the sirens speaking truth, there's no wrong or right. Haven't I earned your attention yet? Don't look at me, I'll stutter through this. It's not enough that you care, that you try. I don't know how to make this work, I over-analyze every movement, word, and thing unsaid. Nothing makes sense when it rushes through your head. You don't follow my script, I write them anyway. I'm too tired to object or fight, but I can't improvise. Some screws are coming loose, why lie? You're p

What do you do when you have nothing left? When the window of opportunity has been broken and everything around you M o v e s a l o n g like nothing's changed? Do you continue the facade or give into your cowardly, primitive impulses? Carrie Elizabeth Larson has so much to live up to, many bridges to cross and burn Standing in front of a shattered mirror with blood staining my graduation gown and my pure white hands wasn't how I envisioned tonight was going to go. But then again almost every moment in the past few months weren't foreseen by my eyes. I didn't plan to be raped on prom night nor did I figure in that my parents would

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. And if I tell that lie enough than maybe you won't see. Mother dearest always said not to stray far from home. I never pondered the notion of their voices in my head. Never saw the needle piercing from underneath my bed. You cannot heal the wounds, Not with you swift lick, I'm sorrys and regrets don't make the farces stick. Sticks and stones might break my bones Those words will truly hurt me. And when I'm standing on a cliff You will soon desert me...

These scars could leave a message I only need to write it out I only wish it on myself…this perfect hell I told you that you'd hate me No dreams of mine come true I always thought I wasn't perfect or good enough for you I sold out to the masses Masked and disconnected When the clock strikes twelve I bare the scars Of course, they're self-inflicted You'll find, sweet love, I'm the bitch I've claimed all along I'm the perfectly imperfect girl And I'll never be strong

Can you hear me? Because I'm screaming Louder than I ever dreamed I could Why? Well that's easy, I've been stripped of my childhood How? I'm not… sure that I can explain it properly Just look in my eyes and dare to see My eyes are burning I can't see the light Pupils glistening in the wake of night Eardrums vibrate hearing the black bird's song A murder of crows fly ahead and I do not sing along This happens often, all the time; I am just waiting to lose what's mine The beats of my heart are too fast These minutes pass so slowly while I grasp and gasp They are coming for me For all my sins and glories Again and again the

The ways of the heart are uncharted And I realize no one can know their beats They move just as hectically as the stomping of feet But I wonder how feelings come and feelings go How emotions hide and how they show I'd love to know how quickly people realize They switch and guess and compromise Their thoughts and feelings for people no one knows Sometimes they're just not shown The manipulative lie behind "I love you" Always leads to painful cries Yet people still try This thing called "love" Some lucky win The unfortunate lose But is it really luck to find the one? It's hard work and plenty of risk Not every ga